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Custody Order/Access (7 posts)

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missypagu
New Member Registered	Hello, I am new to this, but I have a question that I would like to post here. I am divorced and my 2 kids are 12 and 10. My court order for custody/access states that I have sole custody and he has reasonable and generous access. It also states that he is to have the children every other weekend, as well as sharing holidays, etc. My question is, as my children are older now (my order was made 5 years ago), they do not want to necessarily spend every other weekend with their Dad. They would like their visits with him to be more flexible and as he does not drive (lost licence due to not paying childsupport), he cannot always get the kids to football/art classes, etc and I've offered to drive them, but if for example a class is early Sat. morning then he still insists that they spend the night at his house on Friday when the kids would rather be home that night and be driven to their activities Sat. morning and then taken to his place after that. He states that "IT'S MY WEEKEND"...even though I ask him if he has made arrangments for rides for the kids and he says no, and I ask how he will get them there and he says he doesn't know...this is sooo frustrating..also, my kids would like to not be made to spend that time with him, when they have friends they would like to see on weekends as well and he doesn't accommodate that. When he has the kids, it's just time with Dad...and sometimes they come home and are upset because he hasn't had bus money so they have stayed at his townhouse the entire weekend. They want to see him, just would like it to me more flexible and not set in stone....do I have to amend the custody order? What if I tell him that he they will be at his place Sat. morning instead of Friday night and he is mad and calls the police? Do they have the right to make the kids go???
quote / posted 20 September 2004 11:15 PM
StuartsAngel
Active Member Registered	Hi there, In a similar situation with an EX with generous access to my son....because your kids are older they maybe able to have a say in the court order a little more. You will have to return to court to have the order varied and If i remember correctly at the age of 12 the child is allowed to decide what he/she whats weather its more flexably visits or what ever but......Untill you have the order varied you must comply with what it says or yes he can call the police on you. Good Luck
quote / posted 21 September 2004 7:42 AM
cjnbjnr
New Member Registered	Contact the Women's Centre. They give a half hour free legal advice with a volunteer female lawyer. You just have to call and set up an appointment. Here's the contact information, and good luck! Address: 646 1st Avenue NE Calgary, Alberta T2E 0B6 Phone: (403) 264-1155 Fax: (403) 264-1203 Email: womens-centre@shaw.ca Hours Of Operation : Monday - Thursday 9:30am to 8:30 pm Friday: 9:30-3:30 pm pm Directions to the Women's Centre: Driving From The North: If you are coming from 16 Avenue N turn on to Edmonton Trail going south (towards downtown). Turn left on 1st Avenue. Go straight about 1.5 blocks. The Women's Centre is on the left hand side beside the Petro Canada. Driving From The South: If you are coming from Memorial Drive turn north on Edmonton Trail (away from downtown). Turn right on 1st Avenue at the first set of lights at the Petro-Canada station. The Women's Centre is on the left hand side beside the Petro-Canada. Taking The Bus : From Downtown : Take either #9 Bridgeland or #5 North Haven From Calgary North : Take #9 Varsity or #4 Huntington Taking The C-Train: Take the C-Train to the Bridgeland Station, then take the #9 bus from the bus stop by the station.
quote / posted 26 September 2004 2:11 PM
Fathers-4-Justice
New Member Registered	Everyone is pretty polarized over custody and access issues and things are about to change in this country. Check out this website: http://www.fathers-4-justice.ca This is an international organization that conducts civil disobedience to force the government to bring in shared parenting as the law. They have made divorce reform the number 2 issue in the UK and they are going to be doing stuff in Canada very soon.
quote / posted 28 October 2004 8:19 AM
Normfg
New Member Registered	I know you find this very hard to believe, but men do face an uphill battle in the divorce industry. Although you may have had a bad experience with your husband, stop to think if it is only the women that have a bad experience in the marriage break-up? Yes there are groups that are aggressively working to get the playing field in the divorce and custody industry leveled, because that is as it should be. I am sure if we talked to your ex, we would get a very different version of the story you told us. Somewhere in the middle is the truth, but do not for one minute be so arrogant to think you are the only one who is having troubles with access or custody. Women do not have an exclusive hold on that part of divorce.
quote / posted 29 October 2004 10:11 PM
Barite73
New Member Registered	I am new to all of this Custody Order & Access and am finding it very difficult to find the answers I need. It has been 3 years since I left my ex-boyfriend and things are just now wrapping up with our Custody Order, the papers get finalized today. 3 years ago I made the mistake of letting my little girl visit her father without an interim agreement so after two weeks of the visit I get served with a notice of motion from him. I trusted him to return her to me and he stiffed me, I believed he would never do such a thing, well I was very wrong. Now I have joint custody, he has FULL care and control, with every other weekend access, I pay him child support and get this he wont allow me to call and speak with my 5 years old. He makes excuses or doesn't answer the phone or worse yet, he gets his girlfriend to answer and she blasts me verbally. My question is what rights do I have? All I want is to be a part of my daughters life, he even has influenced our daughter to call his girlfriend MOM. Every chance she gets she's in my face, calling me a bad mother, poor influence, not fit to be a mother in front of Brianna. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I have a good job and go to school part-time. He verbally abused my for 7 years and my self esteem couldn't take it and I was tired of being controlled. Now I have to put up with her verbal abuse...who the hell is SHE. I try to keep up a positive attitude and never say mean or bad things about him or her when my daughter in my presence but I feel like I can no longer hold it together. I am scared that the next time this women says one more thing that I am going to snap on her, what will that accomplish? Can someone please give me advice as how to deal with these types of people? My ex fights me on every single issue, never lets me know what is going on in our daughter life and so on, the list goes on. I am being to understand all to well how the system works and how things need to be changed desperately.
quote / posted 10 August 2005 3:33 PM
dj2712
Active Member Registered	Was it Family or Queen's Bench Court? Did you have a lawyer? You haven't seen your daughter in 3 years? Why did he got custody? Court's should be making decisions with best interest of the children in mind, so why do you think that was the verdict? Record all of verbal abuse, keep records of events, speak with lawyer first half an hour should be free if you want to talk send me email I spend over 5 years in courts over custody of my children [This post edited by dj2712 on 10 August 2005 ]
quote / posted 10 August 2005 6:20 PM

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