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family maintenance enforcement (46 posts)
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tlcreu
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i am at the mercey of family maintenance enforcement effective nov. 2002 my drivers licence will be suspended therfore i will not be able to work i will lose my present job and income no further payment to mep. i have explained this to mep. but they require full payment or half my income forcing me to hardship in turn not being able to support myfamily my self or my residence mep .is taking everything forcing me to seek legal aid and welfare . is there anyone out there that is or has dealt with this problem a group or a lawfirm that deals with these matters some one who can help me fight this unconstitutional system please help there is much more to discuss desperate
quote / posted 14 October 2002 12:03 AM
Troy
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sorry to hear about your situation...mep sucks a$$...but it's something all Dad's face with evil X's. Maintenance can have your liscence suspended if you show no faith in paying...I think it's all about the child and not with the mother...mothers allway's use their child as a form of control...when they lose that...they lash out making it unbearable sometimes to survive...I think that pay your child directly...gifts...cloths...sporting event's...what ever you can afford...mep doesn't care about the welfare of the parent that has to pay...the government only found a way for the mother or Dad to have more power and control over their X.

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quote / posted 05 January 2003 4:16 PM
kippen7075
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I agree....the one who pays the support always gets screwed. my husbands ex is trying to keep his daughter from him because we are behind. my husband had to change jobs in nov 2002 and therefore had to stop payments from that employeer. he tried setting it up again through his new employer but maintenance doenst know how to return calls. now we are screwed from money cause maintence is taking it all because they were the ones that couldnt return calls... oh like that is our fault. we try and see what happens!!!!!!!!!!
quote / posted 24 January 2003 11:04 AM
crazygirl
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I really dont know if there is anything that you can do. My Boyfriend and I are going through the same thing, His ex went and signed and affidavit saying that she had not received any child support for 2 years and now we owe her 8 grand. We had been paying her but in cash and mep does not think that we can prove that which it is her word against ours. We just had a baby of our own and are now looking at being homeless. I dont know that there is any resolution to this problem. It is very unfair. I myself have children from a previous marriage and would never even think of registering him with mep. I think the only way to solve anything is to band together and try and change it. I know that there is a group of Laywers that are trying to change the divorce act as it is constitutionally unfair toward men. Once victory that we have gotten is that we have half custody of his children however we still have to pay her child support because they think that he makes more money when it is her that does right now anyway and we cannot prove this either until tax time which they will take all of our return. Talk about unfair. How many divorced single mothers do you know who can go out and purchase themselves a new home????

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quote / posted 30 January 2003 8:05 PM
douce123
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The only way maintenance enforcement will come after you is if you did not pay the court ordered maintenance. So suck it up and pay what you owe and quit looking to blame sommeone else for your stupidity.
quote / posted 06 February 2003 8:45 PM
john31
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or if you do pay and don't demand a receipt,expect to lose.This is the 21st century and unfortunately what you don't have in black and white,does not exist.
quote / posted 02 March 2003 2:29 PM
Bren
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I cant believe all the bellyaching here/You guys made yer bed now lie in it/the women whos boyfriend's ex who is asking for support and she says i would never send her ex to mep/well now that you guys are homeless you better get money from him to support yer threekids but i notice you didnt mention where the three kids i bet he has them.You guys keep looking at them money issue and not a the child that is a human being you made!!! think about it or are you coldhearted???
quote / posted 28 March 2003 12:53 PM
StuartsAngel
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[This post edited by StuartsAngel on 12 December 2005 ]

quote / posted 10 April 2003 2:56 PM
singlemom
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I just don't get it. Why do people continue to have children and then refuse to support them? Children are innocent and they are the responsiblity of BOTH parents!!! You try raising two children on one income or even with no income without any child support and see how you like it when your child wears a hole in his shoes and says mommy can you buy me a new pair of shoes. You try looking into your childs eyes and say no I am sorry I have no money to buy you a new pair of shoes because I had to pay rent and the electricity bill and buy food for you to eat. Oh and by the way I didn't recieve any child support had I recieved it I would be able to buy those new shoes. You try taking care of your child when she has 103 temprature with no money to buy the meds she needs or the money to take her to see a doctor and then feel sorry for yourself because they are taking child support out of your check. How selffish are those who whine about child support how selffish are those who don't care about thier children enough to even send a dollar to help support them. How selffish are those who can drink a beer while their child is in need of medical attention and cannot get it because they had to drink. I however put my children before myself. If I don't have enough food they eat and I don't that is the price of unselffish love. But it is obvious this world is getting more selffish by the day. Sad
quote / posted 16 June 2003 8:20 AM
singlemom
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I just don't get it. Why do people continue to have children and then refuse to support them? Children are innocent and they are the responsiblity of BOTH parents!!! You try raising two children on one income or even with no income without any child support and see how you like it when your child wears a hole in his shoes and says mommy can you buy me a new pair of shoes. You try looking into your childs eyes and say no I am sorry I have no money to buy you a new pair of shoes because I had to pay rent and the electricity bill and buy food for you to eat. Oh and by the way I didn't recieve any child support had I recieved it I would be able to buy those new shoes. You try taking care of your child when she has 103 temprature with no money to buy the meds she needs or the money to take her to see a doctor and then feel sorry for yourself because they are taking child support out of your check. How selffish are those who whine about child support how selffish are those who don't care about thier children enough to even send a dollar to help support them. How selffish are those who can drink a beer while their child is in need of medical attention and cannot get it because they had to drink. I however put my children before myself. If I don't have enough food they eat and I don't that is the price of unselffish love. But it is obvious this world is getting more selffish by the day. Sad
quote / posted 16 June 2003 8:24 AM
stressedmess
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SInglemom,please read my story in the other family maintenance forum. I feel for your situation, I hope that you can see and understand someone elses point of view
quote / posted 16 June 2003 3:53 PM
NewUser
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[This post edited by NewUser on 20 April 2005 ]

quote / posted 19 June 2003 1:04 PM
spirt123
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The MEP program is out of control. You mothers out there that think you can open your legs and get 18yrs under the Parentage and Maitenance Act or 22yrs under the Domestic Relations and Social Services Act of paydays are very misguided. Fathers that donot cohabitate with the women prior to pregnacy should be prepared to suck up the roll of the dice they did. Whats this the child is a person and what a garbage father. Some women out there are very much in it for the bucks. Has the MEP considered the mothers role in the abuse. The laws will change and the child will not suffer. The child suffer's because mothers are suffering from post relationship depression and anger. It would do some good if people educated themselve's about whats finally being excepted in the court in the US, PAS............
Parental Alienation Syndrome
It is where the custodial parent shits all over the non-custodial parent, and in extreme cases cause murders and breaks apart all relationship with the non-custodial parent.

Women engaging in this practice are playing a very dangerous game, just to vindicate themselves.

I wish all of you good luck, and remember that the MEP is a tool to screw the non-custodial parent so keep using it while you can.
quote / posted 26 June 2003 6:52 AM
NewUser
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[This post edited by NewUser on 20 April 2005 ]

quote / posted 07 July 2003 1:21 PM
spirt123
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Well there's alot of reply. I have lived with the shit on dad syndrome for over 10 years. If you think that women are in poverty and the kids can't get medicine in Canada you are mistaken, enter the Social Assistance Act. When mommy can't afford anything the Govnerment pays the bill and adds it to the MEP bill. Even if she can. There are very real options for the mom's. My point is not to ignore the real problem, just to point out that some women out there are evil. You are correct there should be guidelines to determine who's the potiential dead beat mother's are. Good luck. How can it be done. The existing system is being abused and the mothers are doing it, period. Here's one for ya, a father after being court ordered to pay 500 mth for child care and has complied. He is now dying from kidney failure that is hereditary. He can't work and will probably die soon. He's not paying anymore but the MEP doesn't stop collecting, he can't drive so I guess the taking away of his licience doesn't much matter does it. What can be learned from this situation. I'm not a dead beat dad in anyway. I have supported my children and the mother since day one. The problem is that a mother can say anything to MEP and they do nothing to verify the information. She scammed the MEP and they will not even with a court order release the fraud information so I can procecute her in criminal court. Fortunately the federal Govnerment is not quite as forgiving and the years of Child tax benefit payments she was not entitled to was agressively acted on and returned. So to all the good moms, do your best as some dads are shit. To the shit moms watch out cause jugdement day is coming.
quote / posted 08 July 2003 9:11 AM
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[This post edited by NewUser on 20 April 2005 ]

quote / posted 09 July 2003 2:58 PM
Andria
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First of all I would like to say that I have sadly seen both sides of this story. For myself, being a single mom for the past 12 years, while my ex-husband., and yes he was my husband, I did not "spread my legs" for some unsuspecting male I did not try to trap someone by having a child, I did not manipulate or ploy against this man, he was my husband. With that said my ex-husband had to be hunted down in order to step up to the plate and accept his responsibility, he is a dentist and the ONLY way he will pay is if he is FORCED to, he will not pay because our daughter is his too., he will not pay out of the kindness of his heart, he will not even pay out of the love for his child. He will only pay when he is forced to, so yes., I appreciate MEP. I appreciate that they force him to pay. I know that he enjoys living beyond his means, but I do not feel that I should bear the sole responsibility for OUR decisions. I love my daughter beyond imaginable words, she is everything good in this world for me, she melts my heart, she makes it soar, I couldn't imagine my life without her so yes I have made sacrifices for her betterment, I have eaten mustard sandwiches because I had nothing else., I have degraded myself and visited soup kitchens so that I could get stale bread and food for my child, I have gone without eating because there was only enough food for one of us. And No the social system doesn't work for everyone, it isn't the be all and end all to human suffering, believe it or not it's not that easy to walk in and get money for food. Years ago I made too much money to get social assistance but not enough money to live. There is that line that everyone forgets about. That line between poverty and destitute, where people tell you that you just need to better manage your money,, its not better management when you simply do not have anything to manage. Minimum wage does not support 2 people, not coupled with daycare expenses, transportation, and basic living expenses. But, I have also gone back to school and now provide a much better life for both of us. The other side of the fence is my older brother; he has 2 children with his wife. She decided that she didn't want to be "tied" down and walked out, its been 4 years of struggling for him and his 2 kids. His son has cerebral Palsy, a mild form but still has it. She doesn't pay support she doesn't want her children, they have become his life, his motivation for becoming a better human being. His now ex-wife pays nothing, can't get her license taken away because she doesn't have one, can't be found because she doesn't work or pay taxes.. Just vanished and left her children and her husband. Pays nothing... ever. So it's not always men doing the leaving. It's not always women doing the suffering, but it is always kids that get caught in the middle. I think people need to see beyond what they are going thru to what is best for the children, and when both parents can do that the children will hopefully suffer less. It won't make everything wonderful, but it will make for less suffering. My nephew is nine now and my niece is 11. all they want is for their mom to come home. Today my daughter is 14 and a beautiful young woman whom I am always incredibly proud of she is off visiting her father, and has overcome his ignorance towards her when I finally did sue him for support. He wouldn't talk to her for over 3 years; she had a difficult time dealing with it but persevered and has become a person that is wonderful to know. He is lucky because she is so forgiving. I just hope that one day he realizes that paying child support has nothing to do with continuing to love and spend time with your child. I hope that he realizes the devastation that he caused her and one day he apologizes to her for the pain he caused. I hope one day he really sees her for the beautiful person she is, but most of all I hope for all the people that write here that they are capable of moving beyond the hostility they feel towards their ex's to understand what it is exactly that they are doing to their own children., I wish that people could move beyond the feelings of anger to what is truly best for the children, because in all of this bullshit its the children that suffer. It's the children that see the ugliness you present to them. It's the children that will walk away and grow up with the scars of their parents screwed up lives, and for that I am truly sorry. I know this has come out jumbled up, it's just how it comes out, and I apologize if you find it difficult to read.
quote / posted 10 July 2003 3:47 PM
NewUser
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[This post edited by NewUser on 20 April 2005 ]

quote / posted 15 July 2003 3:08 PM
Andria
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Stressedmess., could you please tell me where to find the other Family Maintenance forum??
quote / posted 25 July 2003 12:32 PM
Aura
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Social Assistance Act??? It's my first time reading all of these and I am in complete disbelief. I can literaly write at least a novel or 2 based oneverything my SINGLE mother and us kids had to go thru. But in order to get everyone to keep reading I will make it as short as I can. My mother married her first boyfriend. My mother always (snd still does) follow all the rules but yet she is the one that suffers and pays. My father was always cheating on her (who know how many 1/2 brothers & sisters we have out there!) and was quite the violent person at times. I was always daddy's little girl and would get very angry at my mother when ever they would argue and my mom would argue back.
Then one day my mother despite several other times she had seperated from my father and then would take him back accepting his apologies because she could NEVER imagine what it would be like being a single mother with 5 CHILDREN to support, but most importantly to leave us without a father figure inour lives...had enough! She told my father she could not continue living under those conditions
Anyways I know I'm probably confusing all of you that are actually taking the time to read all of this so I will cust to the chase. :0)
My father refused to pay child maintenance or assit my mother in any way. My mother asked to meet him in a public place, a restaurant, where my father denied us, his own children, said he did not care about us or that we didn't have any money. my mother left crying (I know this because I hid in the back of the car...I was trying to find out which one of my parents was telling the truth.)
Did I mention the fact that my mother did not know how to speak English very well?
So here we were...A single mother with very little English skills, and 5 children all under the age of 12!!!
My mother went to see a social worker & welfare, to see what kind of assistance she could get.... Guess what? They told her they could not help her because she owned a house and a car....they said sell them and then we might help you!
Well my mother set out to do what she was told....she sold the house but lost money on the house because she sold it before the mortgage matured...sold it in less then 5 years from when her & my father had bought it. My mother did not recieve one single penny, in fact she had to pay more money out of her pocket for all sorts of fees. My father demanded money out of her because he thought she had made a fortune.
She went back to Social Services and told them she sold her house but she was now desperate for assistance because her job did not pay her wnought money to support 5 children....they turned her away...she was told she had to sell her car. Well becuase my mother was turned away from every place she tried she picked up 2 more jobs. This woman worked 3 JOBS to try to feed us!!!!! She worked as a hair dresser in the mornings, a janitor in the evenings, and more cleaning work form on the weekends and sometime she would work until 5am.....and yet all we could afford to buy for food was rice...add-water noodles...eggs, and sometimes bread. As soon as I was 12 I started doing volunteer work, shich they would pay me about $20 dollars a week...this pay check of mine I gave to my mother.
Many, many times my poor mother would be so tired driving as to school when eve she could (especially when it was winter) or picking us up...that she would fall asleep at the wheel to wake up to us screaming at her to get up. My mother suffred to seizures and still has suffred more dreadful scares like cancer....but she always had a hug for us or a kind words always thinking positive...she would always say that this would make us stronger people in life. Especially when we would be upset because no one could help us with our homework...but since I was the 2nd oldest, my sister which is one year older then I took it upon ourselves to make sure the younger ones did their homework or we could scrape something to eat for them while we went hungry sometimes because there was not enought to go around.
Anyways my point to this story??? Because I can keep on going.....the point is that WHERE WAS THE ASSISTANCE THAT PEOPLE THINK THE GOVERNMENT OFFERS....WELFARE? SOCAIL WORKERS/ SOCIAL ASSISTANCE? SOCIAL ASSISTANCE?
And yes...there are families that cannot afford medicine...dentists....etc. My health record shows that I only went twice to the doctors from when I was little until about 19 years old! Why becuase we could never afford medicine! And that is the truth. No medicine...no food..no clothe. Thank God my mother knew how to patch up clothes ...because that was us. Imagine that! Being that poor in Canada....well guess what it happens.
But know after all these nightmares....I cannot face my father....just at the thought of him makes me sick....where was he when we needed help....the father I knew & loved died a long, long time ago. This man that claims to be my father quit his job on purpose so that he would not have to pay child maintenance. Imagine that, he was an Electric Engineer and he quit it all...just so he did not have to pay. He claimed bankruptcy because he said the Child Maintenence Board was taking all his money....what money! My mother took him to court...and even through the courts they could not do anything....so please tell me how this is supposed to work.
YES it's true there are bad women out there that do take advantage of the system....but there are alot of bad men out there too....who because "they fell in love" or because they are "skirt chasers" or what ever their reasons are refuse to pay child maintenance....but it is true that in the end the children are the ones that suffer....they are the ones that in the end en d up traumatized or so depressed to the point that they commit suicide. So please somebody out there tell me that this nightmare I live and still live in my dreams was that...A DREAM! Becuase I WILL beg to differ.
And my mother certainly did NOT JUST OPEN HER LEGS!!! Give me a break, have more respect. My mother had my older sister when she was 23 1/2....and had me when she was almost 25...so please do not disrespect MY MOTHER like that. Because I certainly would not disrespect yours in any offensive way.
I apologize for taking up too much of you time...
quote / posted 12 September 2003 11:10 PM

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